When it happens, it happens quickly, like the flick of a switch and suddenly your vision changes, you start to really see and you allow yourself the luxury of the moment to stop and absorb. You can read Stuart Wilde, The Tao, The Untethered Soul and all of these etheric writings, and you can understand it but feeling it is a different thing. There are a lot of people who fake finding serenity and understanding the different levels of life but those who really feel it will know. Those who talk too much about it do not truly feel it (says she whilst writing a blog!).

I does not happen out of the blue, you’ll have prepared for it in some way – it may have been because of a trauma or something bad. This is because key to enlightenment is letting go, realising the unimportance of gripping onto things and when that happens energy can flow through you. Holding onto bad energy is exhausting and means there is none left to send out positively.

if you lose what is important to you, and that will happen to everyone at some point in their lives – a job, a person, a position – then often the only way to get through is letting go and accepting life as it comes. My point came from sheer exhaustion – the constant battle over unfairness, ignorance, all the wrongs, the hunger for more, the fear of failure, fear of the future, fear of time passing too fast, of not achieving what I wanted to achieve. All of this fear left me exhausted so I had no choice but to find change somehow. It has taken a good five years to learn how to control my mind and to stop it controlling me. I have learnt to be still and not to get blown off course by emotions or ego. I am my centre of consciousness, nobody else, and certainly not my ego. Every so often I get knocked off balance but it only takes me a moment now to recognise and address that.

When the feeling started I had spent four days in the middle of nowhere for my forestry project in Fiji. During those four days I stilled my mind and became very aware of everything around me, I actually managed to dispose of time and consequently everything slowed down. On the 4th day nothing substantial had changed but I just suddenly realised I had the beginnings of an understanding of life and I recognised that it was what it was. The end would be inevitable no matter how much money or success in the material world had been gained. All we have is ourselves but that is enough. If you can be true to that and can accept everything you are then all those around you recognise that sense of self and respect it. You do not need material possessions or status in the conventional sense.

It sounds cliche but I have suddenly began to feel compassion for all humans who are all on the same journey with me. I believe we are all at different stages and some are far away from enlightenment, led by their ego only. Compassion and forgiven are crucial to reaching this state so fury must dissipate, insecurity must fade and judgmental traits must disappear. I am open to everything, good and bad, will take them as lessons and will use the positive as my support during the negative. This is quite a step forward for me as I have always tended to be intolerant and impatient of others.

It is impossible for anybody to suddenly become this great, lovely person who never experiences any bad emotions such as anger, regret, envy or sadness. You just learn that those emotions are attached to the ego part of you and that you can control them. Do not hold onto them and they pass quickly. Become fluid and gentle. From the age of 17 until 22 I was living abroad modelling and it was a tough industry, I then went out to work and felt I had to be hard and strong in order to be seen and respected, I have felt the need to prove my independence and ability all the time. What a waste of energy that was, all I did was behave aggressively and use my energy in the wrong way. It is so much better to be yielding and as the Tao states “blank like uncarved wood.”

This state of mind is part of Conscientious Chic because I think that there truly is no greater calamity than not knowing what is enough, no greater fault than an endless desire for material success because they are ego led things that do not lead to happiness or peace. So I am not saying do not enjoy what man can offer us; fast cars, flash clothes, expensive jewellery (you will still catch me in Chanel or perusing the Rolex shop window!) but I am saying never think there is any truth in them and never value them more than an each moment in which you are living.

Want less, be more.

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