Ever since 2001 I have come to the Monaco Grand Prix. It is the most glamorous event you can imagine full of millionaire playboys, models, sports cars and yachts. I have always loved the buzz and people watching. Yes it can be over the top and silly at times but it can be fun to spectate and watch from a distance.

However, this year I have had enough and have changed my flight to come home early and my view is that it is no longer a cool event at all. Now it is just beyond crass with the show of wealth taking over any notion of fun. Lots of very uncool people with crazy amounts of money literally throwing it around on themselves and crap service from the restaurants and bars because quality has gone out the window. There are young girls everywhere hanging off the arms of the most vile overweight rich men who treat them like worthless commodities and they don’t care. Everywhere you go everyone stares like you are a piece of meat – the women weighing up whether you are competition, the men weighing up whether you are better than their current date. Yesterday I sat next to this man at lunch who was short and fat and I thought nothing of him. Today I bumped into him with his 6ft, 20 something model girlfriend wearing an Alaia dress £2,500 plus and covered in jewels. No way was she with him for his charm and personality! The vibe in the bars and clubs was blah but anyone cool cannot come in if they cannot afford it or do not have a friend who can.

In all the years I have come, I have never seen the wealth at this height; the few really do have it all and the rich have got richer. I cannot believe the convoy of cars each one worth over £250,000 and going up with SLS’s and McClarens. The clothes are all couture and the diamonds huge. One drink costs £50 including water and a salad around £25. Don’t get me wrong, I love a bit of flash and I am no stranger to designer clothes and sports cars but this is just tasteless and vulgar in its extremity.

So I am taking my ass back home to my lovely dogs, my well equipped gym and my cosy bed! Let them drink their champagne – I prefer green tea! Maybe I am just old and grumpy now but I sure as hell know I am not missing out on anything!