This may seen an odd post seeing as it does not relate to fitness, food or fashion but I think it is about focus. In general life, people will let you down, mainly in little ways that you forgive and move on from. But every so often you may come across someone who is just intrinsically nasty and because you are in their path for whatever reason you become their victim. You may accidently make friends with them or they may be a business associate but generally these people are excellent at worming their ways into your life and will seem to be the nicest person ever at first. Thus when they let you know it is ten times more shocking and can really impact on you emotionally.

I am going through this at the moment with a friend who I have reams of texts and emails from declaring how much he adored me, how much he looked up to me and long essays on how tough his life was, how he was so grateful for my support. He pretended to be a weak vulnerable individual that was a victim to all the people around him who were chasing him for things yet I now know it was the other way around. I will not go into detail as it is still on-going and will take some time to extract myself from his horrible, treacherous world that is dominated by debts, lies and illusion. However, I look back and realise all the signs were there and I knew something was not right the entire time. Now I have set myself back and I could be emotionally distracted which would then have an impact on my physical wellbeing.

Why did I chose to ignore all the signs and allow this person into my life? This is where focus comes in. Focus is not just practiced in the gym, it becomes a part of life and how you operate in every way. It is a clean vision that enables you to listen to what is often referred to as “your gut” or “instinct” and make the right decisions at every point. It means you will see, and more importantly, acknowledge the signs.

Focus is about a plan of where you are going. This does not mean the old 5 year plan and a definite commitment to where you work and live. It means a plan of the ethos you plan to live by, the place you want to end up in and your development as a human being. That means you are more likely to avoid these sorts of situations and these sorts of people. So my focus could be that I want to avoid any kind of messy, litigious, unclear situation in my life and a person like this one who came with debts and business problems and all sorts of weird complications would not have even got through the door. Also another clear focus is to keep money issues every separate from friendship – any business, any financial problems, whatever should always be kept separate.  My focus could also be that I keep people at a distance for a long time and do not jump into over friendly, sharing relationships too quickly. These people are like gremlins that feed off moments of weakness and if you let your guard down they jump in. If you have a focus that means you do not let them in and do not need them, they will have to move onto their next victim.

If it is too late and you have already been let down by one of these sorts of people then the thing to do is build a mental brick wall between you and then and eliminate them from your life. You cannot let them knock you off course or to form a resentment and anger that boils away within you. The very best form is revenge is to realise that they have to exist forever in this destructive turmoil  as it is part of them but it will not be a part of your life and you can walk away from it.